Where is my heart?

Yesterday, I attended a talk by Rev. Jian Hui from Taiwan at PBHP. It was such an inspiring talk I have attended this few months. However, I felt sad that there were all elderly people who attended to the talk. There were only three youngsters, which are my sister, me and kooiling. It's a sad case and as a dhammaduta worker, I really hope I can do something to change the situation. I knew that it is a good talk, I have tried to share with my friends, yet there were no one attending.

Rev. asked us some mind-opening questions which triggered me to think further on what I have learned so far. The first question she asked was “who is Buddha?”. I tried to answer in my mind. Yet, I was unsure with my answer. Buddha is the enlightened one who knows the truth of this samsana. Is this the answer of it? I not really sure with it. The second question which amazed me was “where is your heart?”. This question really made me to think deeper. Where is my heart? Is it on the left-hand side of my chest or is it equivalent to my mind? When we said we are heart-broken, which heart was broken? So, where exactly is my heart? Some will say that when we live life to the fullest and pay attention on everything we have in our live, there our hearts are. However, does this the best answer to the question? I still do not satisfy with the answer. There was a kalyana mitra shared with me that we shall learn to appreciate things around us and appreciate the present. When we can do so, our heart is just around us. Does it make sense? It sounds right but it might be not as well. I still haven’t got a satisfied answer for this question. When and where can I search the answer?

In the later part of the talk, Rev. reminded me on I did not carry out the duty as a Buddhist fully after I came back from the All Buddhist Youth Camp in Taiping months ago. I took refuge to the Triple Gem during that camp. I dare not vowed to follow the five precepts as I did not have the courage to do so. I was still afraid that I can’t follow what I have learned 100%. Nevertheless, Rev. did remind me on it is due to I am afraid or I have no courage to do so. I always encourage my juniors to attend dhamma class in university but I did not attend once. It was really wrong. I had made a little promise in my heart that I will put my effort on learning meditation, but did not do it. I was going backward in the process of learning dhamma. It should not be like that. I must move forward from now onwards. I have to take my initiative to learn more and practice dharma in my daily live. Dhamma is such a simple knowledge when we apply it into our daily lives. Yet it needs a great encouragement and determination to do so. I have to start to do this a little by little from now on.

I am going to attend another class tonight. It would be great if I manage to attend five sessions. I can make it. Oh YeS!!